The holiday season, including Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and New Year’s, offers opportunities for joy and connection, but can be overwhelming for neurodivergent children. Sensory challenges, changes in routine, and social expectations can make these festivities stressful. As a parent, your support and understanding can help your autistic or ADHD child feel more comfortable and engaged. By adapting traditions and focusing on their unique needs, you can create a holiday experience that is both meaningful and manageable. Here’s how to help your autistic or ADHD child thrive during the holidays while honoring their unique needs.

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), also referred to as Pervasive Drive for Autonomy, is a behavioral profile often associated with autistic children, though it can appear in individuals with other neurodivergence. PDA is characterized by an extreme need to avoid everyday demands, often due to the overwhelming fear of losing autonomy. While PDA is not officially recognized as a standalone diagnosis in the U.S., parents frequently seek evaluations to determine whether their child's behavior fits this profile. In the U.K., PDA is considered a profile of autism, but from my clinical experience, I’ve seen that PDA traits also manifest in children who are not autistic.

Demand avoidance is a concept that many parents encounter in their children's behavior. It's important to understand that demand avoidance, in general, is a normal part of human behavior. We all have moments when we resist doing something we're asked to do, whether it's a mundane task or a more challenging request. However, when demand avoidance becomes persistent and significantly impacts a child's functioning, it may be worth exploring further.