The Truth About Confabulation in Borderline Personality Disorder: Memory, Emotions, and Misunderstandings
Has anyone ever told you that your version of events seems "off" or "dramatic"? Has a loved one said you make things up or twist the truth, even when you genuinely believe what you're saying? Do you sometimes share a memory or story and later wonder if it was exactly how it happened?
If so, you're not alone—and you're not doing this on purpose. These experiences may be related to a psychological phenomenon called confabulation, and if you've also been diagnosed with—or suspect you may have—Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), this might be something you've encountered more than once.
This article is here to help you understand what’s going on, why it happens, and most importantly, to remind you that there’s nothing wrong with you. You're trying to make sense of your world the best you can, and there are valid psychological reasons behind these experiences.
What Is Confabulation and How Does It Relate to BPD?
Confabulation is when someone unintentionally fabricates, distorts, or misremembers information without the intent to deceive. It’s not lying. In fact, people who confabulate typically believe what they’re saying is true at the time they say it.
Confabulation is often associated with brain injuries or memory disorders, but it can also happen to people with trauma histories and specific mental health conditions—like Borderline Personality Disorder—especially under emotional stress or interpersonal conflict.
What Is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?
Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental health condition that affects mood regulation, sense of self, and interpersonal relationships. People with BPD often feel emotions very deeply and may struggle with identity, abandonment fears, impulsivity, and intense mood swings.
Importantly, BPD is not a character flaw or something someone chooses. It often stems from early relational trauma, invalidation, or complex trauma histories. Many individuals with BPD are deeply empathetic, emotionally intelligent, and sensitive—but they may also carry a lot of emotional pain and confusion, especially when it comes to relationships and self-image.
Why Do People with BPD Experience Confabulation?
Confabulation can happen for several reasons in people with BPD:
1. Emotionally Charged Memory
When emotions run high, memory processing changes. You might remember how something felt more strongly than how it actually happened. So if someone made you feel rejected, ignored, or hurt, your mind may reconstruct the event around that emotional truth.
2. Identity Instability
A core feature of BPD is a fluctuating sense of self. If you’re not always sure who you are, your memories can also feel unstable—especially when they involve how others treated you. This can lead to piecing together events in a way that makes emotional sense, even if the factual details are fuzzy.
3. Trauma and Dissociation
Many people with BPD have histories of trauma. Trauma can affect memory consolidation and lead to dissociation (a feeling of being disconnected from yourself or reality). When this happens, memory gaps may be filled in automatically, sometimes inaccurately, without your conscious awareness.
4. Fear of Abandonment
If you’ve experienced chronic fear of being left or rejected, your brain may amplify certain cues from past interactions to make sense of potential threats. It’s not manipulation—it’s survival. Your mind is working hard to protect you from pain, even if it means remembering things through a lens of emotional defense.
Why Do People With BPD Get Accused of Lying or Making Things Up?
If you’ve experienced this, you know how painful it can be. Being told that you “made it up” or “always twist the truth” can lead to deep shame, self-doubt, and fear of speaking up.
You may start to question your own mind. You may feel like you can’t trust yourself—or that others don’t trust you. The truth is, you probably are trying to tell your truth. It just may be that your emotional truth is louder than the factual one.
How to Tell If You Might Be Experiencing Confabulation with BPD
Here are some common experiences people report:
Others say you “exaggerate” or “misremember” arguments or emotional situations
You recall events vividly in your mind, but others recall them very differently
You feel shame or confusion when someone corrects your version of a story
You sometimes second-guess your own memories, even though they felt so clear
You’ve been accused of “lying” when that wasn’t your intention at all
If these sound familiar, you might be experiencing confabulation. It doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” with you. It may be a sign that your brain and emotions are trying to work together to make sense of overwhelming experiences.
What If You Have Traits of Both BPD and Autism?
Have you ever been diagnosed with BPD, but felt like the diagnosis didn’t explain everything? Or maybe you’ve received an autism diagnosis but still experience intense emotional reactions or identity struggles that don’t fully add up. You’re not imagining it—there can be real overlap between BPD and autism, and understanding how they interact may help clarify what you're experiencing.
BPD and Autism: Overlapping Traits, Confabulation, and Misdiagnosis
Some of the traits shared between BPD and autism include:
Emotional dysregulation
Difficulties with interpersonal relationships
Identity confusion or a shifting sense of self
Intense reactions to perceived rejection or abandonment
Difficulty interpreting social cues
A history of being misunderstood by others
When these traits overlap, it can make it harder to get an accurate diagnosis—or you may receive one diagnosis that doesn’t fully explain the whole picture. This is why a neurodiversity-affirming, comprehensive evaluation is so important.
Confabulation in Individuals with Both Autism and BPD
For someone who experiences traits of both autism and BPD, confabulation may show up in unique ways. The emotional intensity and fear of abandonment that often come with BPD can interact with the social processing differences and sensory sensitivities seen in autism. This can result in memories that are shaped not only by emotional pain, but also by misunderstandings of social nuance or difficulty interpreting others’ intentions in the moment.
For example, someone might recall a conversation where they felt ignored, when in reality the other person was distracted or overwhelmed themselves. The brain, seeking coherence and emotional resolution, may fill in the gaps with a narrative that makes sense at the time—but doesn’t match the other person’s memory of the interaction.
This isn’t intentional. It’s not manipulation. It’s your brain trying to make sense of a world that often feels confusing, overwhelming, or threatening.
Seeking Answers: BPD Testing and Neurodiversity-Affirming Support
If you’ve ever wondered whether your experiences point to autism, BPD, or both, know that you’re not alone—and that it’s possible to explore those questions with curiosity and compassion, not judgment. Many adults go through much of their lives feeling misunderstood, only to realize later that their traits align with more than one neurodevelopmental or personality pattern.
The truth is, you’re not broken. You’re human. If you’ve struggled with confabulation and feel misunderstood or even judged because of it, know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re doing your best with the tools your brain and nervous system have been given.
Understanding the why behind these experiences is the first step in reducing shame, improving relationships, and finding a clearer path forward. And if you're looking for answers, you're already on that path.
Whether you're seeking clarity, connection, or simply someone who gets it, we're here to help you take the first step.
Testing for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Whether you already know you have BPD or you’re just starting to wonder, getting a thorough psychological evaluation can help you make sense of your experiences. It can also help others in your life better understand what you’re going through.
At Zephyr Care, we offer psychological testing for adults that explores the possibility of Borderline Personality Disorder, along with other diagnoses like autism, ADHD, or trauma-related concerns, and other mental health concerns. Our evaluations are neurodiversity-affirming, compassionate, collaborative, and focused on helping you understand your mind—not labeling it.
Online Psychological Evaluations: Virtual Evaluations in Most States
We provide comprehensive virtual evaluations with a Psychologist for people in most states as well as in person at our offices in Nashville, TN and Murfreesboro, TN. Currently, we are able to service people in the following states:
Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming. *We can also see a limited number of people from California and Massachusetts per year.
Contact Zephyr Care today to learn more!
Author: Heather Joppich, PhD
Dr. Joppich is a Licensed Psychologist and owner of Zephyr Care Mental Health. She specializes in neurodiversity-affirming assessments for autism, ADHD, and mental health concerns.
