Masking in Gifted Adults: The Hidden Cost of Hiding Intelligence and Sensitivities
Gifted adults carry profound capacities - brilliant minds, vivid curiosities, and emotional depths that spark creativity and insight. Yet many find themselves covering these gifts with an invisible mask, suppressing their intelligence, sensitivities, or neurodivergent traits (like autism or ADHD) to fit in. At its core, masking is a survival strategy, but it comes at a cost: emotional exhaustion, loss of identity, and delayed access to support.
Let’s explore what this means for gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) adults, how autism and ADHD intersect with masking, and pathways toward greater authenticity and well-being.
What Is Masking in Gifted Adults and Why Does It Happen?
Masking, or social camouflaging, refers to suppressing natural behaviors, communication styles, or emotions to blend into societal expectations. For gifted individuals, giftedness itself can feel stigmatizing rather than celebrated. In school, they may be encouraged, or pressured, to “play down” their intelligence in order to fit in. Giftedness is a unique form of difference that can lead to both praise and ridicule, depending on the audience.
Strategies of masking may include simplifying language, hiding advanced interests, or intentionally underachieving, especially when peers may react negatively. In adulthood, this translates into minimizing insights, changing conversational ease, or avoiding topics that could make others uncomfortable - all to feel socially safe and accepted.
How Giftedness, Autism, and ADHD Lead to Masking in Twice-Exceptional Adults
Gifted + Autism (2e)
Gifted autistic adults often navigate two layers of difference simultaneously. They may suppress autistic traits, like stimming, sensory expressions, or direct communication, to appear more neurotypical. This masking may ease social navigation, but it’s deeply draining and can foster feelings of inauthenticity or burnout. Perfectionism often intensifies this drive: overanalyzing social cues or rehearsing behaviors becomes a way to avoid missteps, but the emotional toll mounts over time.
Gifted + ADHD (2e)
Masking ADHD often means hiding symptoms of distractibility, impulsivity, or hyperactivity. A gifted person with ADHD may mimic calm behavior, force stillness, or suppress spontaneous thinking to match social norms, especially in professional contexts.
The Emotional and Mental Health Impact of Masking in Gifted Adults
Masking can bring short-term safety or social acceptance, but long-term, it exacts a price.
Living under a mask is mentally exhausting. Many neurodivergent adults, especially those who mask heavily, report elevated anxiety, depression, disconnection, and even identity confusion. High masking is kind of like performing your personality, like speaking a foreign language fluently, yet always on stage.
Over years of masking, gifted adults may lose track of who they truly are. Some say, “I don’t know if I like what I actually like or what I’ve learned to like to fit in.” Masking also blocks deeper connections: friendships formed when one is always performing feel hollow, reinforcing isolation.
Because masking suppresses outward signs, gifted adults, and especially women, may experience delayed or missed diagnoses of autism or ADHD. This extends their years of confusion, emotional strain, and lack of affirming support.
Historical and Cultural Roots of Masking in Gifted Individuals
Masking among gifted individuals often begins early, not as a conscious choice, but as a quiet response to environments that reward sameness over depth. In many traditional educational systems, classrooms are designed to support the “average learner,” with a strong emphasis on standardization, predictability, and behavioral compliance. Gifted children, who may ask complex questions, finish work quickly, or express deep emotions, often stand out in ways that can be misinterpreted as disruptive, arrogant, or “too much.” Over time, many learn to dim their curiosity, simplify their speech, or withhold insights to avoid drawing negative attention. This is especially true when giftedness intersects with other forms of neurodivergence like ADHD or autism, which further challenge conventional expectations of how a “good student” should behave.
Cultural expectations also shape how and when masking develops. In collectivist cultures, where social harmony and group cohesion are prioritized, gifted individuals may be encouraged, explicitly or implicitly, to suppress individuality for the sake of unity. In more individualistic societies, there may be greater tolerance for standing out, but still strong pressure to conform to norms around achievement, emotional restraint, or productivity. Gender roles compound this further: girls and women, for instance, are often socialized to be agreeable, modest, and emotionally contained. A gifted girl who loves advanced math or talks passionately about niche interests may learn early to hide those traits to avoid being seen as "bossy," "weird," or "too intense."
Ultimately, masking becomes a learned survival strategy - one that begins not from a desire to deceive, but from the deep human need to belong.
Unmasking as a Path to Authenticity, Resilience, and Mental Health
Acknowledging the mask is the first step. Recognizing that hiding one’s strengths or neurodivergent traits was often a necessary coping strategy helps reduce shame.
Cultivate safe spaces. Find environments like friends, trusted colleagues, support groups, or therapy practices where you can lower the mask safely. This fosters self-knowledge and emotional release.
Embrace selective unmasking. It’s okay to use tools to navigate public or professional spaces while also honoring your authentic self in trusted spaces. Balance fosters both safety and well‑being.
Seek identity-affirming support. Comprehensive psychological assessment, especially for 2e adults, can validate both gifted strengths and neurodivergent traits, guiding personal growth and support strategies
Self‑compassion and community-building. Learn to reframe “being different” as a gift, not a flaw. Connecting with peers can nurture belonging, reduce loneliness, and model authentic living.
Final Thoughts: Honoring Your Full Self as a Gifted or Neurodivergent Adult
Masking is often a quiet, invisible burden borne out of self‑preservation. Gifted adults, especially those navigating autism or ADHD, mask to survive a world that doesn’t always value depth, difference, or intensity. But the effort to fit in shouldn’t come at the cost of identity, mental health, or meaning.
The journey from masking toward authenticity is transformative. With self-awareness, safe environments, supportive relationships, and neurodiversity-affirming care, gifted adults can let go of the mask and step into a life that honors both brilliance and vulnerability.
Adult Gifted Testing Near Me
If you’ve spent years masking your intelligence, emotions, or neurodivergent traits, you deserve clarity and support. At Zephyr Care, we specialize in comprehensive psychological testing for giftedness, autism, ADHD, and mental health concerns in adults. Whether you’re exploring a twice-exceptional identity or seeking answers after years of feeling misunderstood, our evaluations are neurodiversity-affirming and tailored to your unique story.
We offer in-person testing in Nashville and Murfreesboro, Tennessee, as well as virtual assessments for adults across PSYPACT states.
We currently serve clients located in:
Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, the District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming, and the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands.
*We are also able to see a limited number of clients per year in California and Massachusetts.
Contact us to schedule an appointment or learn more.
Author: Heather Joppich, PhD
Dr. Joppich is a Licensed Psychologist and owner of Zephyr Care Mental Health. She specializes in neurodiversity-affirming assessments for autism, ADHD, and mental health concerns.
